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Thursday 7 February 2013

Movie 43 Review

Is this 2013's worst movie? The truth, right here.

So, just how bad is it? When it comes to a review at On-Screen of a film that’s been so universally slated as Movie 43, that’s probably the question on every one of your minds, and with good reason. To put it simply, while some critics may have over-dramatised the situation in dubbing this one of the ‘worst films ever’; they’re not extremely far off the mark, and indeed, this is without question one of the single worst films available on the cinema market this year. Try your utmost to avoid the lure of the various stars attached to this project, because once yourself and your wallet get sucked into an auditorium playing this atrocity, you’ll realise you’ve made one of the biggest financial mistakes since Microsoft invested in HD DVD.

To be fair, though, the star-studded line-up of Movie 43 is perhaps the one solitary positive element of its appeal. Between Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Emma Stone, Kate Winslet, Stephen Merchant and Liev Schriber, it’s difficult to think of a movie project since Love, Actually and The Avengers that’s assembled such a mighty range of worldwide talent for its rankings. Soon enough, however, it becomes apparent that beyond the odd laugh you’ll get in the basketball and teenage home date sequences, the twelve skits these stars have been grouped into are pretty much devoid as humour. In fact, they’re about as hilarious as watching paint dry when there’s no paint on the wall, or in other words as funny as the dull later days of Little Britain.

There’s a real sense that this might have fared better as a one-off TV series of comedy sketches on Comedy Central and Fox, for here an entire 90 minutes in the company of such tasteless and often disgusting gags provides one of the most horrifying experiences you can possibly imagine in 2013’s film roster. As I mentioned earlier, that isn't to say there's no merit whatsoever across the board, but it's all disjointed and rag-tag-feeling enough to just about create one of the most uncomfortable movie sittings in a long time. It's a true 'achievement' when a movie can make a simple hour-and-a-half seem long and wasted, yet that's exactly what Movie 43 manages to do, so it's no wonder that there've been reports of viewers across the world walking out of the cinema halfway through the film and considering to attempt a refund.

Inevitably, that final fact of walk-outs is going to need to be a big deciding factor for you as a film viewer this year. If you seriously think you can stomach shelling out up to £10 and sitting through 90 minutes of barebones laughs, virtually no real storyline and disgust just to see your favourite stars brought to ruin by one of the worst scripts of all time, then even at that point, I'd advise thinking again. Your best bet here has to be free movie services on TV that'll show Movie 43 later this year, because seriously, short of having far too much cash burning a hole in your wallet, there are an infinite number of healthier investments than this utterly shocking atrocity of filmmaking. It's not quite as bad as Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (without a doubt the single worst film I have ever paid to see), but it's certainly this year's Wanderlust, making Movie 43 a surefire contender for both our Worst Film Of 2013 awards and indeed the Golden Raspberries that follow.
1.5/5

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