Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Review (2.5/5)

Never has the phrase "same old, same old" been more apt: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is nothing more than a tepid 'Best Of' entry for the rapidly sinking franchise that fails to capture either the dark scale of the last two films or the lighthearted charm and class of the original. Frequently, viewers will find themselves bombarded with key moments and/or gags that have already been shown to death in the extensive marketing campaign and that will garner little more than a snigger or gasp from the audience. Perhaps the worst part in rating a major disappointment as this is the potential greatness that could so easily have been achieved were it not for some elementary errors made in the script, more predictable than ever with twists that myself and many others latched onto way before they came to pass, the directorial process (you will not notice the 3D- the group I watched this with had removed their glasses halfway through, myself included, and if anything it might have improved the image quality) and crucially the casting; there is absolutely no addition to the considerably less star studded line-up who carries any emotional weight and certainly no-one stands any chance of compensating for the departures of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. Surprisingly enough, even Johnny Depp's witty and manic turn as Captain Jack Sparrow is beginning to reek of facade, and Geoffrey Rush fares no better as a meaningful protagonist than he did in the third flick. I haven't even mentioned the plot, which unbelievably manages to be more disjointed and silly than ever, throwing in a mish-mash of fantastical concepts so insignificant that they put even the impossible romance of Davy Jones and a gypsee to shame. There are some highlights to speak of, however: Penelope Cruz manages to at least hold her own alongside Depp as feisty flame Angelica, and the opening segment in London town is in true Pirates fashion a bold and oft-hilarious catapult into events that at least sparks our interest in the quest for the Fountain of Youth, but for every moment where the fourth instalment comes close to being average there is an equally uninspiring action sequence or cameo that serves only to unsuccessfully attempt to distract us from a shockingly incohesive storyline. There will, I'm sure, be many who argue that the final score is a bit harsh, and to be fair On Stranger Tides does at least eclipse the atrocities that were Dead Man's Chest (1.5/5) and At World's End (2/5), yet that's little compensation for a movie that does nothing we haven't seen before and as a result proves a thoroughly forgettable start to a Summer full of sequels that hopefully are more original and surprising, lest we be doomed to more wasted opportunities like this in months to come.