Universal Pictures have today released the full teaser trailer for their upcoming romantic drama film Fifty Shades of Grey. A direct adaptation of the somehow absurdly popular 2011 E.L. James novel of the same infamous name, Fifty Shades depicts the frisky escapades of a young literature student who falls hopelessly in love with a control-obsessed businessman, forcing them both to confront their own pasts and desires in the most obscenely erotic manner possible.
No, seriously, this is not a film that warrants family viewing from a moral perspective - think Game of Thrones, but with less violence and more of...the other stuff. To its credit, the piece has attracted its fair share of up-and-coming stars including Kick-Ass' Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Once Upon a Time's Jamie Dornan and even the best-loved British pop artist Rita Ora (why on Earth are you asking us if we're joking?) to its ensemble of otherwise-unknown yet undoubtedly potent central cast members. Check out the trailer for yourself below...if you haven't already chosen a side of the fence to stand on, that is. You'll hear nothing from us either way regarding whether or not this is a shallow cash-in on an extremely underwhelming literary text which doesn't remotely deserve the kind of attention it has received. Nothing at all...
Fifty Shades of Grey opens the door to its bedroom in cinemas worldwide on February 14th, 2015. Our severe condolences go out to any boyfriends unlucky enough to be dragged along to a screening.